spookyweedwitch:

rhyse:

i hate when people call their grandparents weird names instead of grandma and grandpa like babooshka or salami

people speak other languages you complete fuckwit

(Source: aurevoir-mes-amis, via transexualonion)

editoress:

"SIT LIKE A LADY"

NO

image

(via kingjuicyt)

chinesekleptocracy:

Don’t want nudes leaked? Don’t take nudes. Don’t want to be robbed? Stop owning things. Wanna avoid being killed? Buddy, quit living already!

(via dorkinthefreakkingdom)

reddlr-trees:

"To protect my shit"

himederekitten:

This is a piece of shitty mid-2000s humour that I hope never disappears from the internet
truestrength525:

tell me this doesnt remind you of snoop dog
Who am I to you? Anonymously leave a fruit or two in my inbox.
  • Apple: I haven't really taken notice of you so far.
  • Honeydew: You fascinate me.
  • Banana: You annoy me.
  • Mullberry: Mostly I tolerate you on my dash.
  • Cherry: You make me uncomfortable.
  • Orange: I love your blog, but I'm not very interested in you personally.
  • Grapefruit: I don't care so much for your blog, but I'm rather interested in you as a person.
  • Kiwi: Love your blog, equally interested in you as a person.
  • Pineapple: I think about you even when I'm not on tumblr.
  • Rasberry: I'm not even aware I'm re-blogging from you when I do.
  • Strawberry: I wasn't even aware I was following you. How did that happen?
  • Mango: I wouldn't mind talking to you if you ever messaged me, but it's not that big of a deal to me.
  • Apple: I would really like to talk to you, but I never will initiate it.
  • Guava: I have no interest in talking with you on here.
  • Blueberry: Sometimes, I like and re-blog posts from you just to get your attention.
  • Cantaloupe: I often avoid liking and re-blogging your post so I don't draw your attention.
  • Watermelon: I'm not very interested in you or your blog, I'm just too lazy to unfollow you.
  • Elderberry: I've anon-ed you something personal before.
  • Pumpkin: I've anon-ed you a compliment before.
  • Kumquat: I've anon-ed you hate before.
  • Lemon: Never anon-ed you before, probably won't again.
  • Lime: We've never talked and I prefer to keep it that way.
  • Papaya: We used to talk but we don't anymore and that makes me sad.
  • Rhubarb: We used to talk and we don't anymore and I prefer it that way.
  • Tangerine: We talk on here sometimes and I want it to continue.
  • Plum: Meh.

korrakun:

my favorite college experience is when i had a 7am class and the kid next to me literally poured a monster energy drink into his coffee said “i’m going to die” and drank the whole thing

(via oh-godno)

madeof-starlight:

WOMAN WEARS BLACK BRA WITH BLACK OUTFIT. CONTACT THE PRESS, CALL THE PRESIDENT DO NOT LET THE CHILDREN SEE.
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